A practical, good-humored guide to sorting hats, gloves, boots, and everything in between.
No one has written a chapter on how to declutter a rancher. Until now.
Everywhere you look, someone is taking on new habits, breaking old ones, or reorganizing their life. I’ll admit — my curiosity often gets the better of me. I scroll through the upgraded life hacks, improved menus, and color-coded cleaning schedules. Occasionally, I try one. Every now and then, an idea sticks.
But in all my years of perusing cleaning, organizing, and decluttering guides, I’ve never once seen a category dedicated to ranchers. Either no guru has had a rancher in their life long enough to see the need, or they simply weren’t brave enough to take it on. So today, we begin.
The easiest place to start is the hat collection. Every fertilizer rep, banker, nutrition consultant, tractor dealer, feed clerk, and veterinarian has likely contributed at least one. Despite what they may tell you, they don’t need every hat — and they don’t even like all of them.
Some have given everything they have to give. Others were never chosen in the first place. Keep a handful of clean ones for town, rotate a few for work, and let the rest move on.
Once the ball is rolling, turn your attention to gloves. You will hear arguments:
“That one’s still good — its mate just wore out.”
“It only has a small seam popped.”
“That’s my backup pair to my backup pair.”
I understand the logic. Winter gloves, summer gloves — all makes sense. But when there are extra pairs stacked in the corner and seven left-handed gloves for only two right-handed ones, it’s time to intervene.
Boots follow the same rule. Town boots, work boots, riding boots, long-day boots — all fine. But the pair that was replaced three times ago? Let it go. Don’t waver. The chaos they create sitting in the way, tripping people left and right, just isn’t worth it.
Before leaving the mudroom, tackle coats, sweaters, vests, and scarves. Ranchers are loyal to old favorites, but even loyalty has limits.
Closets are next. They make do with the old while still chasing something new. Keep what fits, toss what’s torn, stained, or beyond repair. If there are still too many, have your rancher try them on. There may be whining. Stay strong.
Work pants follow one rule: never mend a patch you’ve already mended. If they’re worn enough to need fixing again, they’ve done their duty.
Once the wardrobe is tamed, gather wire bits, fencing clips, loose tags, and miscellaneous tools that migrated indoors. Send them back outside. They may not end up where they truly belong, but they are no longer in the house — and that’s a win.
Next come the less obvious collections. Bathrooms often house too many bull sale catalogs and ranching magazines. If they haven’t been read yet, they likely won’t be. While you’re at it, clear out outdated vaccines and medicines in the fridge and pantry. Lunch boxes, coolers, water bottles, and ice packs deserve the same reckoning. Even if you never acquire another, you already have plenty.
One final thought: ranchers are excellent at sorting. They do it every day. You just might need to change the setting. If they can call out “by” or “in” while culling cattle, they can manage the same system indoors.
If you’re successful inside, the garage might be next. Broken tools, old truck parts, abandoned projects — all can go. More sensitive items, like worn-out tack or retired hot shots, may take longer.
In full transparency, I have a rancher who could use a real dose of decluttering. There are too many good hats, gloves with a little life left, favorite shirts, magazines worth skimming again, and tools that just need “a little attention.”
This piece is largely theory and wishful thinking, not a record of triumph.
But if you try it — even just taming the hats and gloves — the house feels lighter, and the rancher…well, they keep riding on.
Leave a Reply