Allison - The Idaho Rancher's Wife

A Letter to a Sandwich

May 12, 2016 by Allison

When you have three kids and your husband is gone a lot and returns home tired to the bone and just falls asleep, you tend to not get much adult interaction. And when that happens, you tend to start having conversations with yourself. And when that time is prolonged for a few weeks, the conversations with yourself in your head turn sideways. All of the sudden you think, “Man if I have to make one more sandwich…! Boy, I’d tell that sandwich…! I’d tell it….!”

Suddenly you have a letter written to a sandwich, that doesn’t exist, and if it did, it did nothing to you to deserve such retribution. And that letter would go something like this:

Dear Sandwich,

We are back to our annual hot-and-heavy-relationship again. I must say that as the days drag on, I find you less and less desirable. Getting together every once in a while is manageable, but lately you have been coming around WAY too much. Lets face it, you have nothing new to offer. When you whittle it down, you are just two slices of bread with a piece or two of meat and cheese in the middle with a little mayo slathered on to provide a little lubrication for the trip down.

Sure, you could be a bit more. A little fluff can really go a long way. In fact, I enjoy a little tomato and lettuce on my sandwich. Heck, I’ll even take some pepper or cucumber to make things a little interesting. But that’s only when its fancy-sandwich-day at home. Sorry to tell you, but a fancy sandwich doesn’t fly out on the range. A juicy tomato turns a sandwich sitting in lunch box in the back of the truck soggy REAL fast. And limp lettuce is even less appealing! Knowing that adding the extras in an attempt to change things up is all just wasted effort and just makes you even less alluring.

I know that if we get creative things could be a little exotic with some tuna. But The Rancher is a land creature and can only take so much tuna. And we could get the creative juices flowing and pull out some spicy mustard and add a little zip or zing to it. Heck, The Rancher even gets creative out on the range when he tries to pep you up with a few chips to give you a little crunch. But even with all the creativity, you are still just two slices of bread with a piece or two of meat and cheese in the middle with a little mayo slathered on to provide a little lubrication for the trip down.

What I am trying to say is that I am done with you. I am tired of all your fixin’s taking up so much space in my fridge. I’m tired of looking for ways to mix it up. I’m tired of making you and then seeing you come home when you just weren’t worth eating. Lets go back to the days of only getting together once in while. A man needs a man lunch that will stick to his sides for these long days. Sorry, but a sandwich day after day isn’t going to cut it. I’m severing ties and turning to cold pizza for now. Go find some other lunch box to fill…

Sincerely (tired of fixing and eating you!),

The Rancher’s Wife

Finally Moved in!

January 14, 2016 by Allison

I hope you have ear plugs in because I have something loud to tell you.. WE HAVE MOVED INTO OUR NEW HOUSE! I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I am to be in. It has been a LONG summer of building. And really it has been an even longer year of tearing the old house down to get ready to build. But it has all been worth it.

There has been so many ups and downs in this process and lessons learned. Like, do you know how many banks think it is ridiculous to build this far out in the country? I mean, how do we ever plan to sell it?! The idea that we are building on our ranch, where we work and live, was such a hard concept to grasp. I also learned that living out in the middle of nowhere makes it hard for contractors to want to come out. But with the promise of a home cooked meal and a place to sleep we were able to get the workers to come. And let me tell you, when they give you a date, whether its when a project will be completed, when they will start something, or the day you get to moved in, whatever date it is, add on about half as much time and that is your realistic time frame.

The Rancher has turned into a fine electrician, plumber, negotiator, excavator, framer, and all around handyman. I could probably hire out as a great painter, with a twist of high wire acrobatics if you are lucky. And if anyone wants any advice in picking paint, flooring, cabinetry or anything else that has color, I would love to help you…. But its pretty stressful so you are on your own!

As we were building there were a few musts that we had to have. I wanted a real laundry room for the mountains of dirty clothes we accumulate from ranch fun. And it had to be separate from the mud room because a laundry-room-mudroom combo means just exchanging dirt rather than actually getting rid of the dirt. I needed to have a bathroom close to the back door so The Rancher wouldn’t track mud and dirt and poop through my new house (because I already know that the boots aren’t coming off…). The Rancher wanted a garage, one big enough to TWO trucks in and his 4 wheeler and his tools and still have room to work in. So pretty much our garage is as big as our house… Ok, not really. His final must have for the garage was that the roof couldn’t slope so that the snow didn’t dump off in front of the garage doors, something we are already so thankful we planned for!

After all being said and done (even though we aren’t all done…) it has been such a great experience. Everyone needs to build their own home at least once in their lives. And when I say build I really mean build. Being the ones to string wires, put in flooring and cabinets, to paint the walls and hang garage doors has helped us to appreciate our home so much more. When we began building I told The Rancher that this house was to be a house of perfection- everything absolutely perfect. But I’ve learned that it is more a house of forgiveness- mistakes have been made, some that can be fixed and some that we cover up and some that we just live with. But imperfections and all, it is ours.

I promise there will be more details and photos to share later, but that will need to come as we get everything finished and after it is decorated all fancy and after I do some cleaning (its amazing that even though it is a new home it is a lived in home and is messy already!) But here is a few shots of my LOVELY kitchen, the kids play room, the mud room, and our bedroom. Now don’t judge that things aren’t finished and that there are things hiding under my bed… just look past it all!

Weaning… and Pregnant

January 12, 2016 by Allison

Looking back at weaning a few (four!) months ago, I don’t recall it being overly eventful. I mean, there wasn’t any disasters or mix ups. Nobody was injured and all calves were accounted for. That all being said, it could be that time has softened any of those bad memories and they have slipped away. We can just say that it was a good, uneventful weaning. Well, relatively speaking…

Ok let’s just get it out there that so long as the cowboys are having a good day, nobody else’s suffering really matters. So while I don’t recall any issues with the weaning itself, I do specifically recall it being a little rough on this pregnant rancher’s wife, but again, that doesn’t really matter…

The first weekend of weaning I wasn’t even planning on really helping out. They figured there were plenty of guys so I planned on just playing photographer. That morning as they got ready to roll out they realized there wasn’t enough cowboys and The Rancher came in asking for me to ride. I had just barely rolled out of bed when he asked me how I was feeling and lucky enough for him it seemed like it would be a day that I wouldn’t be kneeling in front of the toilet (hooray!). So I went. And it was fun. And it was so painful!

Have you ever rode a horse with a cantaloupe bouncing around your insides? It didn’t matter how fast we went, something was being smashed or jostled or bumped. And let’s not forget how a bouncing tummy can turn sick in what seems like an instant. It was like being sea sick from the inside out!

I survived that day, but I decided I was done riding for a while. So when we had our next weekend of weaning I stayed on the sidelines, which finally gave me a chance to take some photos. It seemed like forever since the last time my camera had been out on the range. It felt good to use my trigger finger again! Now before you worry about me just sitting around NOT being helpful, remember that this girl can’t sit still long. As soon as they had enough calves sorted, the kids and I jumped in the truck and hauled calves home. See?! Very, very helpful…

With two weekends of weaning under our belt, we had just one more major day to spend out on the range. That one last day was maybe the longest of them all! The Rancher asked me to help ride because once again they were low on numbers. By that point my morning sickness was less of an issue, but my growing belly was still something to be dealt with. Being the good wife that I am, I helped, of course. I sorta hoped that my sacrifice to come and help would earn me a little doting and sympathy but I should have known better… There is no room for weakness in the cowboy world, even for the pregnant ranch wife…

So now here we are, four months down the road from weaning and I am finally getting things posted. I live be the saying, “Better late than never!” And maybe that’s not so bad of a thing if it means that I remember it being relatively uneventful (because my suffering doesn’t matter, so long as the work gets done!).

Revisiting 2015

January 5, 2016 by Allison

Our New Year’s Eve was pretty uneventful. We had an early dinner, watched a movie and just relaxed at home, which in reality was the best way to end our crazy, stressful, busy 2015. With the new year well under way, I’ve finally taken a minute to look back over the last year and realize that it was a HUGE year for us. And before you contest my observation (because I didn’t blog hardly anything that eventful and if it didn’t happen on the blog, it didn’t really happen, right?!), I’m gonna list it all out for you!

Lets just start at the top, shall we?

We started the first of last year with a bang, literally, as we began demolishing the old ranch house to build our new home. When the walls came crashing down we knew we had committed ourselves to this adventure! Although it was oddly satisfying to take a sledge hammer to the old house, it did get tiresome and the work seemed long but after 3 months we got it down!

In January we realized that there was nowhere near enough feed to calve out all of cows in Locomotive so we kept back an additional 250 cows at the ranch. Luckily we had an easy winter that helped things go more smoothly, but calving was a lot more intense. And because there was such little feed in Locomotive, we ended up hauling a lot of hay down south, putting a lot of extra miles on the feed truck.

When we weren’t busy on the ranch or demo-ing the old house, we were busy studying to be EMRs (aka first responders). The Rancher and I took a class to test and certify to run on the ambulance in our little valley. The long weeks and late nights of studying took me back to my college days and I was so glad when we tested and PASSED the beginning of May. Don’t worry, if you get hurt out here in Holbrook and need assistance, you have a ready, willing, and terrified crew to put you back together!

The spring was its normal craziness of branding, turning out, and praying for rain. Luckily, we were blessed on all fronts with a successful branding season, fast turnouts and a lot of rain!

The busyness of spring only got busier with summer as we were full swing into building a house, haying, hauling heifers to rodeos and ropings, and summer fun. I worked on my bucket list and scratched off hiking Mount Timpanogous with my siblings (it might have been a few days before I could walk normal…). Being the cool people that we are (and humble, I promise…) we volunteered in our community at every chance we could! A few highlights included our 4th of July where we cooked breakfast with Farm Bureau as the Young Farmer and Rancher’s chairman, had a fire truck in the parade to represent the Holbrook/Stone fire crew, cooked dinner with the Search and Rescue and put on a fire work show with the Malad fire department. I planned and took (with help!) the 12-18 year old girls on a week long camp trip (that had its own ups and downs with beautiful sunny mornings and snowy afternoons!). And we ended the summer with a week long of fair fun where I helped organize rodeos, a hypnotist show, vendor booths, and horse races all while doubling as EMS after a huge meth cookhouse was found (don’t worry, it hadn’t been running in years, but still scary to have in our little valley!). And if that doesn’t sound like a crazy summer, lets add in a little morning sickness! Let me just tell you that one of the highlights for our summer was NOT our garden… I don’t know that I have ever neglected it so bad as this summer.

As the summer came to a close, we hit a new milestone when we sent The Rancher’s Sidekick to school for Kindergarten! I didn’t cry, but the house certainly felt empty without him. While we was at school, The Ranch Princess and I spent a lot of quality time at the new house painting… and painting… and painting… Don’t ask me to come paint anything… I’m all painted out…

Even though we were solely focused on getting the house done in the fall, we took time to go on school field trips to the zoo and pumpkin walk and our annual family fishing trip. Of course we had calves to wean, cows to preg check and fall pasture to be moved to. And before we knew it, the calves were sold (so glad that we contracted in the spring!!) We also learned that my dad’s cancer had returned but we are hopeful with a quick catch and aggressive treatment he will beat it again! With appropriate timing, we gratefully moved into our new home the day before Thanksgiving. In fact, we moved our crap in and then jumped in the truck to head to Montana for Thanksgiving all in the same day!

We closed the year out by watching The Rancher’s Sidekick first Christmas program, Christmas shopping, The Rancher breaking a few ribs, a week long trip to Tijuana and strep throat. We were delighted to stay home for Christmas to celebrate the season and enjoy our new house!

Yep, looking back we had a crazy year, but I don’t think that I would have changed anything about it. OK, I could have done without camping in snow in July or the morning sickness or The Rancher breaking a few ribs (I mean, did you have to do it right when we were finishing moving in?!) but we learned and lived and laughed so much! I love and appreciate my family more this year than ever and truly look forward to the coming year. In some regards I’m a little afraid, because I have learned that times can be tough. But I have also learned that together we can get through it all!

Expanding the Herd

December 8, 2015 by Allison

With all the preg checking done with for the fall, we look to be having a great calf crop on its way. The heifers are set to begin dropping calves towards the end of February and the cows to start shortly after that. As always, March will be a busy month for us, but that’s ok… Springtime babies are so fun!

The cows won’t be the only ones to expand their herd in 2016. You guessed it- our little ranch family is expanding by one! As any good ranch wife would, I’m due to calve right with all the other cows the beginning of March. The Rancher has already said that it will work out great to check the cows and check me all at the same time. That comment only got him a swift kick in the pants!

We are delighted to have a another little cowBOY on the way, something that The Rancher’s Sidekick has known from the beginning. Before we even knew pink or blue he was telling everyone that he was going to have a new baby brother. The Ranch Princess is loving the prospect of a baby around the house and tells me everyday that my tummy is getting BIG. Thanks…. The Rancher is excited too, but I see it only through his comments of me being in good shape for calving or that he will be sure to bring the chains along the way to the hospital, just in case. And of course I am excited, and terrified all at the same time. What if The Rancher is in the middle of pulling a calf when I need to go? Who is going to do night calving while we are at the hospital? What if he gets stuck in Locomotive were I can’t call him? Ya know, normal pregnant wife concerns…. When I try to get some answers out of my cowboy, he just says that I don’t really need him anyway and it will all work out.

He is right, it will all work out… Somehow it will all workout…

2016 Cowboy Calendar

December 7, 2015 by Allison

Life has ben crazy but I still couldn’t NOT make a few calendars! After having a few years of calendar making under my belt it really didn’t take too much to put these together and I just love how they turned out.

And now after my yeas of wisdom, I have found a new printer where I have been able to SIGNIFICANTLY drop the prices! Now you can get a 2016 Cowboy Calendar for on $8.49. If you are interested, email, comment on this post or message me on Facebook and I will get your order in!

A Family Cattledrive

November 11, 2015 by Allison

Oh boy was this a crazy summer! With all the ropings, family events, community activities, and building a house we were running in every direction. To help things out, the cows decided they didn’t need much moving for the summer. For real… Between the field rotation we were on and the rains it seemed we hardly had to move the cows. The unfortunate thing about that was that I didn’t have many opportunities to ride with the guys or take any photos.

On the one chance I had to saddle up, the whole family got to tag along. We really weren’t even moving to new field, just pushing the cows to a different trough. So even though it wasn’t too much of a ride, it was perfectly short enough that we knew they would last and have a great time. We have my old horse from when I was a kid that The Rancher’s Sidekick has claimed. And the Ranch Princess bounced around between me, Rancher Sr., Cowboy E, and The Rancher. It might not have been much, but we made a few good memories.

10 Lessons Learned as a Rancher’s Wife… Part 2

October 3, 2015 by Allison

Last year I gave you a handful (ok 2 handfuls) of things that I’ve learned as my time as a rancher’s wife. Let me tell ya, that was not an all included list. There are so many gems out there. If people really only knew all the truths of making it married to a cowboy they would say we live such a bizarre life! So as weird as you may think I am, I have another 10 lessons I’ve learned.

There gonna be dirt. And manure. And mud. And dust and grit and weeds and anything else dirty you can think of. Ok so that isn’t too much of a stretch to imagine all that until you start to think of all the places this dirtiness goes. If it’s on your boots it’s on your floor. If it’s on your pants it’s on the couch. If it’s on your hands it’s on every blasted light switch, door handle, counter, key, or button you touch! So this is my advice: DON’T EVER CLEAN!! It’s all going to be messy all the time, so don’t worry about putting any effort to it… Ok that’s not how I roll. I do clean. The barn dirt and germs can stay in the barn but you have to pace yourself. Or hire a maid. I’d really love a maid…
Learn your 1st aid and always keep band aids on hand. It’s one if those Murphy proof things. If your prepared it’s not gonna happen, right?! Actually no… Cowboys think that they are either invincible and nothing will happen to them or they are can handle any type of wound or pain. And that leads to another lesson- know how to MAKE them stop and get real help. My rancher is pro at washing it in the ditch and calling it good. It’s only after I make him go to the doctor that he realizes that a pretty intense infection has set in and I was right.
You can hope for a set dinner time but don’t be heart broken when he’s late. In fact, that is more of the rule than the exception. Some machinery will brake down or a pipe will break or he might just forget what time dinner is on. That gives you two options- you either start eating without him or slap a smile on your face and wait. Its as simple as that.
Ranching and cowboying can be tough work but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun. They really are just little boys playing with bigger toys. Having to saddle the horse to go rope a bull or load up the motorbike to bring in a few strays might be their job but that doesn’t mean they don’t get any thrills out of it. You might think then, that since they play all day on horses and tractors and bikes that when they can really go play, they will head out to do something else. But likely not… With any free time they will head to some team roping or start working a new colt or take the bike up in the mountains. Some days its hard to know what is work and what is play! We just roll with it and jump in no matter what he’s doing.
There will be so many hats. So many!! And I’m not talking figuratively. Sure, there is that too- he is the vet, the mechanic, the feeder, the farmer, the business man, the irrigator, and the milker. But right now I mean to tell you that ranchers have so many hats. They buy a new swather and they give him a new hat. He gets a load of feed in an he given another couple of hats. The vet comes around and has a handful of hats to give away. But he still needs a good cowboy hat to the keep the sun off of him so every few months its time for a new one of those. And not to mention that that he needs felt hats and wool hats in the winter. And heaven forbid it when a new hat comes in, we throw an old one out. You’ll get some sort of response like, “But it has a lot of good life in it!” or “I just got it to fit me just right!”. It may be greasy, grimy, poopy, and sporting a nice sweat ring but it MUST stay. Just call him a hat collector and move on… (and sneak a few out to the garbage during spring cleaning!)
Just because you don’t get a paycheck from the ranch doesn’t mean you don’t get called into work. In fact, you are on call… 24/7… no weekends, holidays, or even birthdays off. You have to have a really good excuse like in the hospital having a baby or on the couch with a broken leg to get off the hook. You never know quite what to expect when it is time to drop everything and go help. It could be something quick like stand on the road to turn the cows or come help moves the trucks to the next field ready to farm. But it could be in the middle of the night because you have to help with the calving. Or it could be an all day thing and you are sent on a parts run. I guess that’s what you sign up for when you marry a rancher, but you could always try to guilt him into a nice foot rub at the end of your long day!
Have you ever seen a cowboy in a tux? I mean, aside from a wedding, where the groom was threatened within an inch of his life that if he didn’t where his tux on the MOST important day of his life his bride would throw out his favorite rope, slash the tires on his truck and smash his best cowboy hat. His formal attire looks a lot like his work attire except that its clean. He will still have his boots, belt and buckle, jeans and a good western shirt topped off by his favorite hat. If its super fancy he might throw on a tie, but you can guarantee that it won’t last the night. I’ve been told that I can get all fancied up and it will work for the two of us. Naturally, If I’m dressed up appropriately for whatever event we are at, he is too simply by association. Honestly, I stopped caring… So long as he is clean and doesn’t stink, jeans and boots suit me just fine!
You will find that no matter the experience you are trying to help him relate to, he will find a way to compare it to ranching. You want him to understand that you are trying to eat nutritiously and he starts talking about feed supplements and offers you a salt block. You are trying to help him understand that he has to move the furniture when he vacuums and he realizes its much like how he has to move the wheel lines to cut all the hay. The best is when it comes to having babies, nursing babies, and raising babies. He is the expert in this field since every year he helps hundreds of mothers and babies. I guess that means that he is trying to get it if he is making the effort to make the comparisons.
This next little lesson was a hard one to take… A rancher isn’t always that sympathetic. There is no room for weakness in cowboying. It doesn’t matter the reason you need a little pat on the back… If you want to be out with the guys you had better suck it up and tough it out. After enough days of trying to get a “thanks, honey” for the late nights checking cows, early mornings haying, painfully cold days calving, or sweltering afternoons of hot fencing I’ve just decided its not gonna happen. I guess when your job demands that you show up no matter the conditions, you just expect it out of everyone else. And wives are no exception… Darn it…
When its movie night, just go for the western. You will never go wrong with a little gun play, a few pretty ponies and the handsome cowboy saving the day. When in doubt go with John Wayne or Tom Selleck. Or if you have the time you could even go with Lonesome Dove (although I have to admit, I have only done that once… and I think that’s plenty). Fortunately, there is a plethera of great old westerns that will make your cowboy proud to ride and a little more manly at the end of the night.

Here’s one last bonus thought… Crap runs downhill, therefore stay upriver, upwind and out of the spray zone!

Ag in Your County Promotions!

September 11, 2015 by Allison

Ag promoting has become a big part of my family- my dad, brothers, me… We all love the life and want to share what we have! My brother works on his Farm Bureau board in Salmon had a fun opportunity to do a little ag promoting at his fair.

Their board had seen posters with farming/ranching photos with a some facts relating to agriculture as a whole. My brother’s wanted to put up something similar at their fair, but more specifically they wanted to spread a few facts about their county. They thought about using the generic posters for the sake of ease and that they were already available, but my brother said he knew a photographer that might be able to help out…

Then he called me.

And I said yes! I love this stuff! I love spreading the word, creating posters, using my photos… ALL OF IT! The one hitch was that it was the week before my fair and I was already pulling my hair out getting everything ready. (Ya know, they ask the young naive ones to be on the fair board before they know how crazy it REALLY is.) But I didn’t want to miss out on this fun chance so I packed up my stuff and found a corner at the fair to pull together these posters!

My brother did the hard work of picking the photos and the wording. I got the fun part of throwing it all together however I wanted. In my opinion, they turned out great! And it sounded like a lot of people at the fair loved them too. I should actually say men instead of people, because they were the only ones to see them. Unless some lady decided she needed to use the men’s bathroom…

Trucking Cows for a Day

August 3, 2015 by Allison

I’ve never been one to love the life of a trucker, not to mention be married to one. The long days if driving and being away from home just don’t appeal to me. I love a good vacation, but a slow noisy semi truck is no vacation.

But on occasion, I do LOVE to tag along with The Rancher to haul cows. We have a semi and bull wagon for our personal use mostly. But we do hire out for custom cattle hauling when called upon. It’s not a lot, just enough for us to make a little income to keep the semi maintained. My favorite drive is hauling cows up and down Logan Canyon. We start it good ol’ Park Valley- dry deserty area with only sage brush to call trees. Then cross down into the beautiful Cache Valley to drop off our load. The trees and water and mountains and cliffs and flowers are breathtaking! The lush green in the summer turns to vivid orange and yellows in the fall. I’m almost salivating just reminiscing of it’s beauty.

We just dropped off our first load of cows of many loads to come. I’ll admit it was a long day, but still great. This momma had to get up at 4:30 am to get all the snacks and clothes and you tractors necessary for a small ranch family to play in a semi all day. It got to be an even longer day when the ranch wasn’t quite ready to load up as we got there. They were still vaccinating calves which meant lots of sorts and moving groups of cows around… I could have slept in my on bed another two hours if we had only known! But I did get some much needed paper work done while we waited do I can’t complain too much.

I have to laugh a little st what it takes to get into the area where we dump the cows out. The turn off is so tight thst we have to go up passed it and turn around ;which involves crossing the highway blocking traffic, to only stop part way across the highway to back up so we can sneak by the skin of our teeth to get all turned around. I held my breath but apparently to The Rancher it was no big deal.) to make it in. It’s actually at s camping/ hiking parking area that they have to close off so they can get in and out. It’s so small if an area that only two semis can be in there at a tune, so you can guess how a bunch of extra cars in the way would really foul things up. Once they actually hooked up a truck and horse trailer to a parked truck to take it out of the way. I doubt that hiker was very pleased to come back to see his truck NOT where he left it.

Still, all good and fun. We drove, we enjoyed the sites and I stole just a minute for some photos (it really was just a minute because between the time for my potty break and diaper duty, it’s all I had before we were unloaded and on the road again.)!